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Community: 55themes
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Pairing: Touya x Shindou
Title: For Another
Theme: #41; forsaken
Rating: PG
Archived @ Master List
Summary: Post-Hokuto. Touya ponders (and angsts) over the fact that Shindou is no longer -his-.


Theme #41: Forsaken
"For Another"


Shindou Hikaru used to chase after me. He chased after many people, as expected of an upcoming pro, but I was his immediate and unchanging goal. The notion was of my having a possible rival was first presented when he became an insei; I dismissed it. The sting of both his refusal to play me and the disappointing rematch in the Junior High Tournament were still fresh in my mind and I stubbornly refused to acknowledge his potential.

But that, as the rest of the Go world knows, changed. His strength and knowledge of the game increased exponentially and eventually, I was forced to admit he would be a rival- my rival- for the rest of my life.

I was elated.

My behavior suggested otherwise, but I was happy that there would be a familiar someone around to challenge me in my old age. My father did not have the luxury of discovering his until he was near retirement and I was thrilled that mine had been found at such a young age.

Time passed, and he quickly crossed the line no one had ever ventured near before and became a friend. With him, came an entourage of insei and former-insei pros who befriended me on Shindou's credit. I had never had a friend who was my age, much less a group of friends near my age who were also passionate about Go.

For a brief moment in history, life was good. So, surely you can appreciate the irony that the second I saw him as an adversary was the same second his eyes wandered to another.

---


Ko Yongha. I didn't have a bad opinion of him- I was merely surprised as to why Shindou was so adamant on being First Board just so he could play him. More so, I was confused on why Shindou was so determined to defend Shuusaku's good name. Shuusaku was a brilliant Go player, but Shindou was dangerously border lining obsession.

He lost, another fact the entire Go world is well aware of, but all agreed it was a close and impressive match, one they hadn't expected Shindou to rise up to. Even so, Shindou was depressed beyond anything I'd ever seen.

He cried.

---


I called his house the next day and his mother told me he was at a Go Salon. Good, I thought, he wasn't moping over his loss. Only later would I learn that the Go salon he went to was the same Korean one he had defeated Hon Suyon in five years ago.

Suyon was there for a rematch. So was Yongha.

I'm not exactly sure what happened that day, but from what I eventually learned, Suyon cleared up the translation errors made by the Weekly Go reporter. Three hours later, the three of them went out for ramen (the aforementioned Weekly Go reporter had been very detailed in his 'accidental' sighting), after which they parted ways.

Nothing more was said on the matter until three months later, when Shindou casually informed me that he had been playing NetGo with a couple of Korean and Chinese pros. Then, he ticked off a couple of names including the second board, Im Irufhan, Isumi's friend Yang Hai, Suyon, and Yongha. Yongha. Not Ko Yongha, just Yongha. When had they been on first name basis? When had they been friendly at all?

It was only then that I realized how quiet it had been lately at Ichikawa-san's Go Salon- Shindou had not been around to argue with Kitajima-san and myself. To this day, I still don't know how I could've missed the shouting matches that left me so frustrated yet strangely satisfied. How could I have missed the presence of those blond bangs that make him seem more like a high school punk than one of the hottest young Go pros in Japan? How? Even Ogata-sensei commented on the sudden atmosphere of awkwardness whenever the silence settled in.

Shindou is still far from defeating me. Now, though, it certainly feels like he doesn't care anymore.

---


The phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts effectively much to my irritation. I decided to ignore it. It was probably from the Go Salon and I wasn't feeling good enough to put up with the barrage of "Akira-sensei"s today. I was about to return to wallowing in my own thoughts when the tone beeped and-

"TOUYA." It was Shindou. "Where the HELL are you?! I've been waiting here for an ETERNITY. You said you'd be here this Sunday, so where ARE you?!" I could hear (just vaguely) Kitajima-san's protests against his 'disrespect toward Akira-sensei' but Shindou was obviously beyond caring. "Get your skinny-" Here, he cut off, as if finding the right word was too much of an effort. "-over here NOW and hurry! I can't take anymore of Kitajima-jiisan's ("You little punk!") nagging."

Here the phone clicked off.

Now, I could've just ignored the message. I could've made up some story and fed it to him (he'd believe me). But instead, I grabbed my coat and headed for the Go Salon.

Shindou's goal will change one day, to higher and greater opponents. But today, he is still mine.

O . W . A . R . I

Comments

shinra_lackey
Mar. 7th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
Followed svz_insanity's link here
Huh, I really liked this fic of your's and how Shindou was able to find his way back to Touya. While the anime/manga does explore how Hikaru faces all of his opponents in a series of harder and harder battles, it's reassuring that his world gravitates around Akira. However, you don't really think past Akira's surface worry that Hikaru might gain on him towards his goal of being the best go player there is. I really liked how you fleshed out Akira's worry that maybe Hikaru had forgotten him for the international players, but brought Hikaru back to Akira in the end.

*is a puddle of fangirl glee*
prada_g
Mar. 9th, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Followed svz_insanity's link here
Haha, thank you! I've been entertaining myself with the idea of Shindou chasing other players while keeping Touya his ultimate goal... which totally doesn't sound as wrong as I think it does. XD